The Lessons of Imbolc and Pagan Parenting
STACY MARIE
My son was helping me get set up for Temple Zenith’s Imbolc Sabbat. He was gathering candles and putting the altar cloth on the altar, when I was called away by his sister. Before I left to tend to her needs, I told him everything we needed for the Sabbat was in the trunk and he was free to set up as much as he liked. Upon my return I was shocked and amazed. He had, for the most part, set the entire altar correctly.
When I inquired how it was that he knew to put the Goddess candle on the left and the God candle on the right, he told me that he felt left is stronger than right and he knew the Goddess is stronger than the God. So he put the Goddess candle on the left and the God candle on the right. This deserved some careful looking into. I was very curious how it was that he came to these conclusions, so I asked him why he thought left was stronger than right. His answer opened my eyes quite a bit to how a child views their particular situation.
He set about explaining that because I (his mother) am left handed and such a good artist he assumed left handed people are better at creative things than right handed people which makes left stronger than right in his mind. He also explained to me that he feels women give birth to babies so they must be stronger and more important than men, therefore he put the Goddess candle at the left and the god candle to the right. I took this snapshot into the workings of my son’s mind and understood how he came to the conclusions he did. But I also wanted to set his thinking on a more accurate path, that he might remember. I praised his deductions. He was problem solving. Using what he knows and to that end, he did a fine job.
“But,” I said to him, “there is so much more to strength than being able to tolerate pain. Most men are physically stronger than most women. And women would not be able to give birth to babies if it weren’t for men. Men and women are two halves of a whole. Men and women need each other and are equal in their importance, neither better than the other.
“For example Imbolc is all about the young God and his courting of the maiden Goddess. The days are steadily increasing in their length, which means the sun is growing stronger. The Sun represents the God; he is sticking around more and more, looking for the maiden Goddess to spend time with him. The aspect of the maiden Goddess is found in the unborn baby animals still in their mama’s bellies and the sprouts within all of the seeds and bulbs hiding under the earth. The Sun god warms up the earth hoping these babies and sprouts will come out of their hiding and lift their beautiful faces to greet him.
“At Imbolc, this does not happen yet, so we say the Sun God is courting, or calling to the maiden, but she does not start to come out until Ostara. But you see it takes the womb of the mother earth, the warmth of the Sun God, and the combined effort of the two in the form of rain, to bring the sprouts out of their warm seeds and into the light of day. They will be food for the baby animals and their parents. Neither one is more important than the other. Each has their equal roles in the web of life. And our role in this particular cycle at Imbolc is to cleanse the way for the coming new life.
“Physically we do this by raking the leaves, blessing the seeds we will plant, blessing the tools we use for planting and cleaning and tilling the soil. Spiritually we ask the gods to take from us anything we are holding onto out of guilt. To clear away the things we feel bad about not finishing last year, to make room for the things we want to accomplish this year, so they can begin to grow. We all have our roles or chores we are supposed to do to help things run smoothly. They are all equally important in the eyes of the universe”.
My son sat and took this all in for a few minutes. A smile spread across his face and he asked… “So, no matter what we grow up to be, my sister and I are equals in your eyes and to the Gods?”
“Yes, of course you are,” I replied.
“You and your sister are already equals. You do not have to wait until you grow up. Your sister just needs more things done for her because she is so young. like a seedling, she needs a lot of attention and extra care to help her grow. You are older and wiser and know how to do a lot of things for yourself, like the young sun god. So your role in life is changing from being taken care of to learning to care for yourself. But you’re still learning so your Dad and I are here to help you with that.”
“I think I know what I want to write on my paper to the Gods now”, he said.
At Imbolc, we traditionally write down the things we may be holding onto from last year and ask that the sun god burn them up and take them away to make room for the new things we want to accomplish this year. We then place the papers in the cauldron and burn them. I have a feeling his had something to do with being jealous of his sister. I think the lesson of the season was learned that day before we even formally began the Imbolc ritual.
The next day I found my son sitting with my daughter outside telling her, in his own words, about the young sun God looking for the maiden Goddess and her baby plants. Those are the moments I live for. Those few treasure minutes make all the fighting, biting, whining and hair pulling worthwhile: To see my children learning from each other, to experience the warm tenderness of knowing I must be doing something right with them.
I believe whole-heartedly that if we are serious about our convictions and choosing Paganism or Wicca as a path, then we must also teach it to our children. I think it is a mistake to leave them out and it saddens my heart when I hear of or meet people who do. I do not agree in shoving religion down a child’s throat. And my children’s attendance at my Sabbats is always voluntary. Sometimes they want to participate and sometimes they have other things they would rather do, and that is okay.
But I can honestly say that every Sabbat they do attend, they learn about themselves and the roles they play in the world and the universe as well as their relationships to each other and to life in general. They learn about their significance and just maybe, maybe, a little bit about how to make it all a bit more harmonious. I do not understand why anyone would not want to share that with the next generation.
If you did not grow up in a Wiccan or Pagan family, think about how much Wicca and Paganism has changed your life. Then think about how different your life may have been if you were raised the way you now believe.
We owe it to our children to share the treasures of our ways with them. They may not always comprehend the lessons, but did you the first turn of the wheel? They will build on what we teach them. I think Paganism and Wicca are strong foundations upon which to build.
The Sabbats should be times to gather the family together and celebrate life and the reflections of Being, together.
