Wicca on Wheels
HOWLIN' BANSHEE
Wicca is a spiritual path that requires patience, practice, and study. In true novice fashion, when I first started studying, I read all I could on the subject. In my case, it soon became apparent that what I sought, how to apply solitary Wicca to my life in a wheelchair, was missing. After some frustration, I realized that I was looking in the wrong place and really missing a major point of Wicca. I was missing was the point that Wicca is about finding the divine within the self. So, I put aside the books and the mouse for awhile, figuring that if I, with the Goddess' and God's guidance, could not find my answers in my heart; Wicca was not my true path.
When I put my anxieties aside and listened, I discovered myself and what it means to be truly spiritual. I realized that the Goddess and the God wouldn't care if I do things a bit differently than the rest of the Wiccan community. So, I would have to find a way that I could comfortably cast a circle that relied on my mind more than on physically constructing it as the books I had read advised. And, I would either have to modify established spells and ritual so that I can use them, or write my own altogether. Yes, there would be days that my energy level and health wouldn't allow me to do the things in Their honor that I would like. I would have to forge my own path and do things the best I could, because true power comes from the heart.
As I mentioned above, I often have to reconstruct magical methods. One of the first concepts that I had to rethink was casting circles. The method I use most often is actually the simplest. With athame in hand, I visualize protective light forming around myself and my ritual area. However, it would be relatively simple to expand the visualization and make it more complicated. For example, envisioning walking around the "circle" area sweeping a broom in a clockwise motion and calling quarters. I've also had to rework parts of spells. For example, spells are often written to require candle remains must be buried. For safety reasons, I have decided that this may not be a good idea. I most certainly don't want to fall out of my wheelchair and onto my head while digging a hole in the ground with a small shovel, or to knock myself out while using a standard, tall one, either. And, I'm sure doing either would give my neighbors a lot to talk about, too. So, I edited the spells to allow the candles to burn completely, bringing the spell into it's full power. Finally, my health and energy levels sometimes run low. On those days, sometimes all I do is recite a short poem or affirmation, or light a candle. Although it would be easy to do nothing on these days, I always try to do something, however small, to remind me that the Divine and magic are never far away.
As a "disabled" Wiccan, the practice has its own special meaning for me. People of other religious denominations tend to take pity on me. They've promised me that in that in Heaven, things will be different, and that God made me this way because I'm one of His special angels. However, I don't want to be pitied, I don't want to wait until the afterlife to be happy, and I don't want to be treated differently. Wicca gives me the freedom to be happy now, as I am now. I don't want to wait until some distant tomorrow to be happy like most people seem to assume, because if I allow myself to do that, I'll fail to miss the on the present.
Yes, in the path I've chosen practicing Wicca on Wheels does have its bumps and potholes, but each new experience has its own lesson. I have to modify and improvise a lot of things, but that's okay. Quite often the best spells, rituals, and devotions are the ones that have a personal feel anyway. Creativity is a big part of Wiccan spirituality, and believe me, some of the ways I do things are very creative! I've found that instead of depleting from my spiritual awareness, these improvised steps often add to it. These things have taught me a lot about problem-solving, humility, and maintaining a healthy sense of humor. Studying Wicca has also helped me to slow down and pay attention to the little things and realize that they are the truly inspiring things in life. The sun's warmth, a good conversation with a friend, and a few quiet minutes alone have different meanings now. I've found my definition of "spirituality". For me, it means redefining "religion" and "spirituality" and making them my own; acknowledging myself as a part of the divinity of the Universe. Finally, I've learned that Wicca on Wheels has a magic all of its own.
